I never knew cozy could come in a dish. Oooooohhhhhh my word. Thank goodness I live up the street from Tavolata, an Ethan Stowell restaurant in Seattle, because I'm tellin' you I might fly cross country to have this meal. Gnocci alla Romana...Gnocci alla HEAVEN!! I always knew gnocci as the small potatoe dumplings....honestly not my favorite, never had a flavourful gnocci dish...and then I met the Gnocci at Tavolata. The skies parted. These are giant tennis ball sized gnocci made from Semolina and covered in an amazing sauce with oozing mozzarella and served piping hot.

When you live in Seattle the weather can get you down...but this dish makes you almost wish for a blistery winder day.

Let it rain!

A Beautiful Day

On the heels of Thanksgiving and the start of the Holiday Season, I wanted to touch on the power of Gratitude and how amazing the thought of being grateful for what you have in your life can heal your soul and breathe new life into you.

Ending this year of a never ending rollercoaster of emotions, ending a marriage, navigating my new life with the ups and downs that naturally brings, I have been faced with many days in that proverbial “funk.” Days of sadness and loneliness have not been hard to come by. I know this is all very natural and healthy to feel and sit with. It would be unhealthy to put a fake smile on every day and pretend that my life is peaches and cream. I have also had some really EXCEPTIONAL days and am grateful for that.

However, I was reminded that feeling grateful and starting the day (or ending it) with a conscious thought of what I have to be grateful for, can really make a shift in your soul. Things become clear and you are able to move forward with contentedness, happiness even!
We are all faced with the down times, whether it is in relationships, work, children, you name it, and it can get us down. Many of us are on that treadmill of life and we feel like we have to finish, accomplish, prove, posture, etc… and we lose sight of ourselves. What our heart is saying, what our dreams are and what truly makes us happy. Is it that job that you have to stay 3 more hours at work for in the evening while things at home seem to crumble, is it the worry of how your children are developing, coping, transitioning to school, and how that impacts us as mothers and fathers, is it the relationship with friends, spouses, lovers that feel unconnected and unfulfilling or have gone awry?

All of it, can be consuming. None of it should. I am reminded that if I move my thoughts towards gratitude for what is good in my life and connect with my heart on what is REALLY my goal in life not what is expected of me, I inherently feel peace. Since I don’t practice a strong faith in god, this morning before I got out of bed, I clasped my hands and held them to my heart and I said, I’m grateful for this warm cozy bed, I’m grateful for my healthy, smart, funny children, I’m grateful for my thoughtful friendships, I’m grateful for the job I need to get up and go do, I’m grateful for the rain even! Makes Seattle beautiful!

Another couple really great things I learned from dear friends this week:
“I am the creator of my life, the artist, and I need to decide what kind of collage I am creating.” And this, “When the intellect is detached from the light and love in your heart, loneliness sets in. A calm heart manifests into a calm mind.”

The last thing I want to share on this is a song that I heard today, “A Beautiful Day” by India Arie. The words just lift me up and if you really digest them, they will lift you up too!
I love that this song reinforces the fact that I take risks in life and sometimes those decisions have consequences of heartache…but I don’t regret a dam thing, because I know I’m always striving for truth, honesty, sincere connections and love in my life and I know I will have it, I have them NOW! If life was easy all the time we would never grow…it’s just up to us to learn from the hard times and take life by the horns and make it what we want it to be! Don’t be a robot and look back and say, wow…how did this happen to my life.

Life doesn’t “happen” to you, MAKE it great!!


Listen to song
A Beautiful Day:

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we've taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed
Start making a mental list in my head
Of all of the things that I am grateful for

Early in the morning
It's the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
It's the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I'm gon' do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses and be on a mission
Just take a moment to get in touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like you've got something to prove
Remind yourself that there's only one you
Just take a moment to give thanks of who you are

Early in the morning
It's the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today

Chicken Marbella

When fall arrives I start thinking of cozy evenings in and tasty warm home cooked meals. Only problem is I don't have much time for these home cooked meals, and at the moment I don't have anyone I'm going home to cook for!

So I've recently had two dinner parties for girlfriends that gave me a reason to cook and it always reminds me that a lively dinner table with good food, good wine and laughter can make any form of the blues go away instantly.

It's a well-known recipe, but I had to share it with those of you who don't know about it:

Chicken Marbella from the Silver Palate Cookbook is one of the first dishes I want to make when the leaves start turning to orange. This dish says Autumn. At first you may think, prunes and olives with chicken? I'm telling you the flavors combined are a treat for the taste buds. Throw some roasted butternut squash next to it and you're done!

Make extra, it's even better as leftovers!

Enjoy!

"My father yells what you gonna do with your life?"

Here's something I was thinking about today. I was thinking about 8th grade, we had just moved to Fairbanks, AK and I’m on the school bus (my father was in the military and since birth we had moved every 2-3 years of my life until I went to college). I was new to a school (again) so didn’t know anyone yet, and what gave me comfort was my first walkman and my first tape…Cindy Lauper –Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

It got me thinking that everyone has a soundtrack to their own life. For me it starts with Cindy Lauper, but went to Janet, Miss Jackson if your Nasty, then came the Depeche Mode and Tears For Fears years. Let’s not forget who followed, Bel Biv Devoe and some of those one hit wonders like that kid Tevin Campbell – “Round and Round”!… come on that was the jam first year of college! Lots of party music of course ensued for the following 4 years and for all those boyfriend love’s and breakup saga’s…nothing beat my girl SADE (she will always be in the running for my all time favorite) and anyone who knows me knows I ADORE (and stalk) John Mayer and I marvel at how he can go from this pop music geek to down right dirty blues man that makes love to that guitar like no other…nevermind his wacky personal life- we all have issues!

My point is, isn’t it fun to think of that ultimate “Mixed Tape” of your life. If you had the time it would be a fun little project to actually create that disc for you to reminisce to or to school your kids on what cool (or dumb) music you were into.
To this day I’m creating that soundtrack to my life…albeit I use Pandora and the like to find the music, but there are certain songs/lyrics that stand out to me and will go in my mental library of songs that fit that time in my life.
Right now it's more of the moody type songs, Sara Bareilles comes to mind or even old school favorites like Peter Gabriel.

If you have the time, I’m just curious…what was your first tape you can ever remember owning and loving, and what is the current song of your life?
Either respond to me by mail or post a comment below this blog entry.

Whine or Wine?

Have spent the last few days of my trip in Burgundy, just 2.5 hrs from Paris and you are in the country with rolling hillside vineyards- everywhere. Splendid, quiet and peaceful.

Have had time to reflect on my life, my divorce, where my life is headed. It's all quite overwhelming at times. Plain and simple- I'm a planner, I like to know and create my future- but now I'm in a state of uncertainty. I saw this quote once that spoke to me, "The future doesn't have to be uncertain if you create it." I need to control what I can and accept the things I cannot change- accept them and move on.

Reading a helpful book right now to support that thought called "Loving What Is." One of the very helpful anecdotes I keep reminding myself of is: Wanting to change something that is the way it is, whether it be the way someone behaves, something that happened in the past, or a circumstance you wish was different...that's like demanding a cat to bark like a dog! It's just not going to happen! So do you waste your time and energy fretting about how you can change something or wishing it was different, or learn to deal with how things are and move forward in life? It's difficult to do, but I hope the more I practice, my brain will follow more easily.

All of my thoughts that sometimes appear in rapid fire sound a little like this "I'm sad my marriage ended (even if it was for the best), why couldn't it have been different, I'm scared my kids will suffer, I'm scared not to have a loving partnership in my life, I'm scared about finances, why did my parents have to move away, why did a friend of mine say that hurtful thing to me." Bottom line is: can't make that cat bark

I'm trying. It's not easy. Need to strike a balance of controlling what I can: loving the kids, work, who I spend my time with, staying on a happy, healthy path etc. The other stuff: guilt, worry, fear, emotions that I need to try and let go of, and let life unfold the way it's going to.

Will be biking through the Burgundy countryside today, soaking up all the fresh air and sun like the beautiful grapes all around, I can only hope that I too get better with age like they do.

Paris Je t'aime

Since this is my first time in Paris since my separation (impending divorce), I really get to explore this city in a new way. Normally I get one or two frantic days of rushing around to hit all my favorite little pockets of Paris that I can't miss every year. Then if I was with the kids of course that was totally different as we would see Paris from their level, which is fantastic in it's own right.

However, to get over the sadness of being here without my children this year, I am enjoying Paris in a new way! I am staying with an old girlfriend of mine who lives right in the center of Paris in the 2nd arrondissment. Close to everything and very Parisien.

We have spent the days walking for hours, ducking in to the greatest shops to get inspired for fall fashion (beige neutrals are the color for fall ) stopping for lunches and cafe breaks, at a leisure pace. Capping the days with long dinners in late night Brasseries that are clamoring with people from all over the world.

Yesterday we walked through the Jardin du Luxembourg and happened to come upon an exhibit of paintings 10ft tall, portraits of peoples faces, it was beautiful and a great surprise as we weren't looking for it, that is the beauty of having time to discover what the day brings to you.

Having the opportunity to stay in Paris as a resident vs. a tourist, I am able to do some of the everyday things with Vanessa I haven't experienced before. I went with her to her "gym" and I am going to use that term very loosely. I'm trying to look for some eloquent words to say...this place is OFF THE HOOK.

It's a mix between, high end luxury spa, discoteque, night club, and oh yeah... "gym". You just have to see for yourself: Klay take the elevator to the different floors and you can see the unbelievably sexy pool I was just swimming in. It's a wonder I was able to work out. All the equipment, even the punching bags for their boxing classes look like their made from Hermes suede and the spinning class looks like you're in the hottest club in Paris-disco ball and LOUD music! Leave it to the French to have such a fantastic workout experience...who doesn't need a martini after a good sweat?

Going back to Klay today, just need to workout, swim and steam before I see what unfolds today.

Svenska!

I have been coming to Sweden during the summers the last 3 years to visit some dear friends of mine, and I am here again now. I can say that I will never get tired of seeing my friends and visiting their beautiful country! Their laughter is worth travelling the world for and whether it be in Stockholm, where I am today, or on the coast of Sweden which I've visited before...it is always a delight!

The people here are so forward! Fashionable, funny, kind, astonishingly bi-lingual- all Swede's

speak English, and have a wonderful healthy joie de vivre!

They are sporty and like to party, two things that I think should definitely go hand in hand.

Last year I was out on one of the islands in the Archipelago, and I commented on how everyone looks like they jumped out of a Ralph Lauren ad on their sailboats and fresh faces and sporty clothes.

In the city of Stockholm it's more of a trendy metropolitan city bustling with women in 80's dress, legwarmers and all...because they actually have balls to take the fashion to the limit. I think in America we dabble with the trend but are too worried what people will think. Men are sporting the Member's only jackets and polos with popped collars and they all look great!

Last night my friends wanted to bike 3 miles to a restaurant that was on the water, and the practical American side of me was thinking...it's sunny now, but on the way back, we'll be too cold, it will be too dark, we'll be tired from eating and drinking, etc etc...but as most Europeans do...practicality is not on the forefront, and I have to say that is where the spirit of adventure and zest for life and new exciting experiences are born!

Riding home, I had a youthful feeling of being a little girl racing home when I knew I was out too late, it was dark, my heart was beating, I was cold and a little anxious...but after 10 minutes, I was warm, I was laughing and wishing the trail home was a bit longer than it was.

This morning our gorgeous sun we've been having turned to rain, and you would think it would be time to hunker down and mourn the rain...but I look outside and the neighbor girls (about 8 years old) are jumping naked in the rain on their trampoline and my girlfriend and I went on a 1oK walk with ski poles! Gotta love the zest!

Let's take that sense of adventure and live it when we can! Unbutton one more button and live a little!! I hope this makes you want to go walk in the rain or take the little less expected path home once in a while.

Go. live. life.

I'm RICH!!

It was my birthday this week!

All I can say is that I am lucky. I have so many good friends in my life, to hear from them via whatever means available: calls, texts, Facebook, emails, flowers, dinners, cards, gifts....all of it signs of love and mutual adoration, because I certainly love and appreciate all of these wonderful people in my life.

One of my cards had this perfect quote on it that I wanted to share:

"It's not what we have in our life, but who we have in our life that counts." - J.M. Laurence

With that said, I'm the richest person I know! Two amazing children, my parents, my friends, and we're all healthy and getting through the tough times together.

I've won the lottery!

Makin' Whoopie!!

There are some things that just make you go ummmm!

I'm talking Whoopie Pies people! I have to thank my girlfriend Stephanie for bringing back this old school treat into my life, that makes you feel like your eating a better version of those ho-ho's back in the day. She made them with this simple recipe and they are delicious and will not dissapoint! These clouds of yumminess can't help but make you smile.

These whoopie pies are following me. I happen to be at Oddfellows today, which is one of my favorite little lunch spots and great for getting a little work done with their free wi-fi. Only problem is, as you sit here, staring back at me from across the room, on their counter....almost like those Geico eyeballs on those cheezy commericals, are a platter of Whoopie pies!

Come to find out...they are even having a Whoopie Pie bake-off! Check it out here!

Just made me think of a fun afternoon activity to do with the kids...our own whoopie pie bake-off...I doubt we'll have anything to show for it!

Let me know how yours turn out!

Action...

Can't believe it's been 9 months since my last entry.

I have to tell you, it's been a TOUGH 9 months.

I am going through a divorce. Yup. There it is. It's been something that has defined the last 9 months for me...but you know what, I'm tired of that.

All of the fighting, drama, sadness, worry for my children, worry for my future etc, etc. It's exhausting.

I started this blog in Spring of 2009 because it was my way of somehow focusing on the light in my life, the little things that make me happy. I was in a marriage that was not right for either of us and I started to look outside of my 4 walls to somehow keep it together. I started working out again, I started writing this blog to look at the good in life....but the wheels came off the bus anyway.

When it's inevitable, it's inevitable.

My supergirl powers were not going to change it.

So, here I am. Still struggling to have consistent good days. Still struggling not to stress about my life, and the well-being of the two most important people in my life, their happiness, our future.

But I just got a note from a friend...Action she said...you work well in Action. So, I need to keep moving forward with my head up and realize the low points, when I have to hold my head in my hands, are okay....they won't last forever.

I decided to start writing again. Try my best to pick out those little nuggets of goodness around me to share...and instead of just disappearing during the dark days, I'll write about those too. Life is hard, and you do most of the growing through the painful parts. Guess that's what makes the good times that much sweeter.

Like my baby girls 5th birthday party this week. Now that is a nugget of goodness I adore!