Whine or Wine?

Have spent the last few days of my trip in Burgundy, just 2.5 hrs from Paris and you are in the country with rolling hillside vineyards- everywhere. Splendid, quiet and peaceful.

Have had time to reflect on my life, my divorce, where my life is headed. It's all quite overwhelming at times. Plain and simple- I'm a planner, I like to know and create my future- but now I'm in a state of uncertainty. I saw this quote once that spoke to me, "The future doesn't have to be uncertain if you create it." I need to control what I can and accept the things I cannot change- accept them and move on.

Reading a helpful book right now to support that thought called "Loving What Is." One of the very helpful anecdotes I keep reminding myself of is: Wanting to change something that is the way it is, whether it be the way someone behaves, something that happened in the past, or a circumstance you wish was different...that's like demanding a cat to bark like a dog! It's just not going to happen! So do you waste your time and energy fretting about how you can change something or wishing it was different, or learn to deal with how things are and move forward in life? It's difficult to do, but I hope the more I practice, my brain will follow more easily.

All of my thoughts that sometimes appear in rapid fire sound a little like this "I'm sad my marriage ended (even if it was for the best), why couldn't it have been different, I'm scared my kids will suffer, I'm scared not to have a loving partnership in my life, I'm scared about finances, why did my parents have to move away, why did a friend of mine say that hurtful thing to me." Bottom line is: can't make that cat bark

I'm trying. It's not easy. Need to strike a balance of controlling what I can: loving the kids, work, who I spend my time with, staying on a happy, healthy path etc. The other stuff: guilt, worry, fear, emotions that I need to try and let go of, and let life unfold the way it's going to.

Will be biking through the Burgundy countryside today, soaking up all the fresh air and sun like the beautiful grapes all around, I can only hope that I too get better with age like they do.

Paris Je t'aime

Since this is my first time in Paris since my separation (impending divorce), I really get to explore this city in a new way. Normally I get one or two frantic days of rushing around to hit all my favorite little pockets of Paris that I can't miss every year. Then if I was with the kids of course that was totally different as we would see Paris from their level, which is fantastic in it's own right.

However, to get over the sadness of being here without my children this year, I am enjoying Paris in a new way! I am staying with an old girlfriend of mine who lives right in the center of Paris in the 2nd arrondissment. Close to everything and very Parisien.

We have spent the days walking for hours, ducking in to the greatest shops to get inspired for fall fashion (beige neutrals are the color for fall ) stopping for lunches and cafe breaks, at a leisure pace. Capping the days with long dinners in late night Brasseries that are clamoring with people from all over the world.

Yesterday we walked through the Jardin du Luxembourg and happened to come upon an exhibit of paintings 10ft tall, portraits of peoples faces, it was beautiful and a great surprise as we weren't looking for it, that is the beauty of having time to discover what the day brings to you.

Having the opportunity to stay in Paris as a resident vs. a tourist, I am able to do some of the everyday things with Vanessa I haven't experienced before. I went with her to her "gym" and I am going to use that term very loosely. I'm trying to look for some eloquent words to say...this place is OFF THE HOOK.

It's a mix between, high end luxury spa, discoteque, night club, and oh yeah... "gym". You just have to see for yourself: Klay take the elevator to the different floors and you can see the unbelievably sexy pool I was just swimming in. It's a wonder I was able to work out. All the equipment, even the punching bags for their boxing classes look like their made from Hermes suede and the spinning class looks like you're in the hottest club in Paris-disco ball and LOUD music! Leave it to the French to have such a fantastic workout experience...who doesn't need a martini after a good sweat?

Going back to Klay today, just need to workout, swim and steam before I see what unfolds today.

Svenska!

I have been coming to Sweden during the summers the last 3 years to visit some dear friends of mine, and I am here again now. I can say that I will never get tired of seeing my friends and visiting their beautiful country! Their laughter is worth travelling the world for and whether it be in Stockholm, where I am today, or on the coast of Sweden which I've visited before...it is always a delight!

The people here are so forward! Fashionable, funny, kind, astonishingly bi-lingual- all Swede's

speak English, and have a wonderful healthy joie de vivre!

They are sporty and like to party, two things that I think should definitely go hand in hand.

Last year I was out on one of the islands in the Archipelago, and I commented on how everyone looks like they jumped out of a Ralph Lauren ad on their sailboats and fresh faces and sporty clothes.

In the city of Stockholm it's more of a trendy metropolitan city bustling with women in 80's dress, legwarmers and all...because they actually have balls to take the fashion to the limit. I think in America we dabble with the trend but are too worried what people will think. Men are sporting the Member's only jackets and polos with popped collars and they all look great!

Last night my friends wanted to bike 3 miles to a restaurant that was on the water, and the practical American side of me was thinking...it's sunny now, but on the way back, we'll be too cold, it will be too dark, we'll be tired from eating and drinking, etc etc...but as most Europeans do...practicality is not on the forefront, and I have to say that is where the spirit of adventure and zest for life and new exciting experiences are born!

Riding home, I had a youthful feeling of being a little girl racing home when I knew I was out too late, it was dark, my heart was beating, I was cold and a little anxious...but after 10 minutes, I was warm, I was laughing and wishing the trail home was a bit longer than it was.

This morning our gorgeous sun we've been having turned to rain, and you would think it would be time to hunker down and mourn the rain...but I look outside and the neighbor girls (about 8 years old) are jumping naked in the rain on their trampoline and my girlfriend and I went on a 1oK walk with ski poles! Gotta love the zest!

Let's take that sense of adventure and live it when we can! Unbutton one more button and live a little!! I hope this makes you want to go walk in the rain or take the little less expected path home once in a while.

Go. live. life.